ある日の夕方　本堂の廊下に一人座っていると
一匹の狐が境内をゆっくりと横切って行った
チラリ、チラリ、と私を横に見ながら
尾を下げ、頭を下げて、寂しげに

幾日かして私は高い熱を出して寝込んだ
何日も熱が引かず寝たまま動けずにいたある日の夜
天井の上を川の流れる音がして目が覚めた
時に岩にぶつかる様な　時に下に落ちる様な

私の体は寝ている布団のまま静かに浮かんで
畳の上をゆっくりと滑るように動き出した
左に流れ　右に流れ

いつの間にか私は又深い眠りに落ちた

どれ程眠っていたのかわからないが
ドゥドゥと流れ落ちる滝の音に目が覚めると
私は大きな木の下の剥き出た太い根に横たわっていた

滝壺に叩き付けられた水が霧に変わり辺り一面を潤し
立ち昇る霊気は木に、岩に、大地に深く沁み入り
私の体は太い木の根に少しずつ沈んで行く

ふと見ると　小高い岩の上に　遠くの崖の上に
幾匹かの白い狐が　見守る様に静かに私を見つめている

此処は何処だろう　いつから此処に居るのだろう
何処かに置いてきた様な私の意識はゆっくりと薄れて行き
滝の音は耳の奥に螺旋を描きながら　遠くに遠くに落ちていった

もうすっかり夜は明けて
鳥の鳴き声は忙しくその日の準備に追われていた
その時にはもう熱も随分引き　天井の川の音もしなくなった

今でも夢か幻か判らない

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The Fox

One evening, as I sat alone beneath the eaves of the temple's main hall,
a fox crossed the temple grounds at an unhurried pace.

It glanced at me,
then again,
from the corner of its eye.

Its tail hung low.
Its head was bowed.

It carried an air of quiet loneliness.

A few days later,
a high fever overcame me.

For days the fever would not break.
I lay in bed, unable to move.

Then, one night,
I awoke to the sound of a river
flowing somewhere above the ceiling.

At times it crashed against rocks.
At times it seemed to plunge into unseen depths.

Still wrapped in my futon,
my body slowly began to rise.

It drifted silently
across the tatami.

To the left.

Then to the right.

As though borne upon
the current of the river above.

Before I knew it,
I had fallen into a deep sleep again.

How long I slept,
I cannot say.

It was the deep, ceaseless roar of a waterfall
that awakened me.

I found myself lying
upon the great exposed roots
of an ancient tree.

Water hurled itself
into the basin below
and broke into mist,
moistening everything around it.

The rising mist
seeped into the trees,
the rocks,
the earth?

everything was steeped in the numinous.

Slowly,
my body began to sink
into the great roots beneath me.

Then I saw them.

Upon a rocky outcrop.
Far away, high upon the cliffs.

Several white foxes
were watching me in silence.

They did not move.

They simply watched.

Where was this place?

And when had I come here?

Something in me seemed to have been left behind somewhere,
and that part of my consciousness
slowly began to fade.

The sound of the waterfall
spiraled deep into my ears,

receding,

farther,

and farther away.

By then,
the night had completely given way to dawn.

The birds were already calling,
busy with the coming day.

My fever had nearly gone.

And there was no longer any sound
of a river above the ceiling.

Even now,
I cannot tell
whether it was

a dream,

or something beyond a dream.